Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Small Talk

Ever since I've been young, I can talk on the phone.

No problem.

Need to call a cab? Need to call the doctor? No problem.

Call a possible cousin out of the blue to ask personal questions about their family? No problem.

So what's my problem?

I don't do small talk.

This evening I told her I would tell her a story.

Maybe a story about one of my gifts. Everybody has gifts. We'd just been watching episodes from the first season of Heroes. They have Hollywood-style gifts. I imagine that I have some, too, not Hollywood-style, flashy, make-me-wealthy-powerful-or-famous gifts; just wonderful, good, gifts

When I was young, eight or nine or so, living in Golden Valley, it was time for a family reunion. For some reason, my mom and I ended up at home by ourselves. Nobody else in the house. That didn't happen often, just me and my mom being together. Unless I was sick... But this time I was healthy. I think most everyone else was already at Mille Lacs Lake getting ready for the reunion.

Or something.

Anyway, we were at home alone and mom got a call from her sister. It's one of those memories that stand out clear and strong: mom on the phone at her desk by the kitchen, talking long-distance with her sister; me in the front room on the couch in front of the big picture window, looking out across the street up the hill to Mr. Ewald's (?) house, listening to mom talk. Long-distance calls didn't happen very often in those days. So this was a red-letter event.

Mom and Aunt Joan talked and talked. I have no recollection of what they spoke about. Just catching-up, family-story stuff. Small talk.

The value of this memory is not the content of the discussion but the comfort I felt as I listened to my mom and Aunt. I truly enjoyed listening to their conversation and cherish those peaceful quiet moments in time.

Lately I've realized this is a theme. I love to listen to my wife talk on the phone, too; to anybody: her family, our family, friends. Anybody. I much prefer listening to her speak with someone, than being the speaker myself, though I do toss a thought into the mix at times as I follow the flow of the talking.

As I look at my life, I have come to the realization that I don't do small talk. If I talk with someone, there has to be a reason, and I know that no one has any desire to listen to the minutia detailing the trivia in my life. So I am comfortable calling strangers and talking with them about their family relationships, but find little use in opening my mouth at a party other than to smile and greet folks.

So my gift, you ask?

I'm an Anti-small-talker. It seems to die when I'm a primary contributor.

Everything has an opposite. I know that there are many people who thrive on making small talk.

Take my grandson, for instance. Please.

My talents don't flow that way. Apparently that's why I talk so much when the home teachers visit. I figure they want to talk about the gospel and family history. So I do...

That I can do.


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